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April 2019


My Breastfeeding Journey

When I was pregnant with Jack I worried I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed. Unfortunately I haven’t been blessed with the biggest breasts and I also feared that Jack wouldn’t feel a connection with me and so maybe he wouldn’t want my milk.

The birth of my son Jack at Poole Hospital in Dorset.
The best moment of my life – the birth of my son Jack.

During the birth the pain in my back became unbearable. My waters didn’t break until just before he was born and so the pressure was so intense. As a result I was given half a dose of pethadin, which certainly took the edge off!

After the birth I was lying there, staring at this beautiful baby boy and couldn’t actually believe he was mine. I was responsible for keeping my son alive and so my breastfeeding fears returned.

I tried and tried and Jack wouldn’t latch. Now I know that this was because of the pethidine but at the time I just thought I had failed in one of the only things I could offer my son. My breasts were failing him. Luckily I had a lot of colostrum and so I fed him via a syringe. The midwives kept telling me I was doing everything right and to just try again but still Jack wouldn’t latch. In the end, despite their wishes, I discharged myself from the hospital. I wanted to be at home, somewhere I knew and felt comfortable without the added pressure of being watched and judged.

The following day I was visited by the most incredible midwife who was very hands on and gave me a number of different positions to try. That night Jack latched and I cried. It was the most incredible feeling ever. It made me feel like I had done something right and that Jack had accepted me as his mother.

Breastfeeding Mum
Dusty loves to be close to us when I am breastfeeding Jack – it’s just the cutest!

I do feel that antenatal classes put a lot of pressure on breastfeeding. Too much. Breastfeeding should be a choice and you shouldn’t be made to feel less of a mum should you decide it’s not for you. Regardless of whether you breastfeed or not you are still an amazing mother.

I wanted to breastfeed Jack and I continue to do so. Jack is now five months old. I love the feeling when he latches and I love the closeness it brings. I don’t like it so much when he seems to think my nipple is a strawberry lace or chewy sweet mind you! There have been times where I have been so tired and emotional and just want to sleep when Jack has woken for a feed, but when I feel him take his first sucks I forget the tiredness and feel nothing but love.

The thing I have found the hardest is breastfeeding in public. Even now I suffer from anxiety when I’m out and Jack gives me his hungry eyes. I start to sweat and I get the most intense stomach cramps.

In the comfort of my own home I use pillows when feeding Jack as it helps me find the right position and it works. Without them I feel awkward. So when I’m out I always try and think of somewhere I can go where there may be cushions at hand! It sounds ridiculous but it gives me comfort. There have been numerous times where I have abandoned a trip to the shops because the thought of breastfeeding in public has terrified me.

I met with friends one afternoon in a coffee shop and deliberately fed jack before I left thinking it would cover me for at least a few hours. I was mistaken. My little man was hungry and there was no where to run. There was also not a cushion in sight. I started sweating, my cramps started and I moved a stack of menus to cover me. Jack latched and I looked around and realised not one person was staring at me like I had feared. And since then I have felt so much more relaxed at the thought of getting my boobs out in public. I still get the cramps but I know I can do it.

Breastfeeding is one of the most natural things and shouldn’t be judged. Mother’s shouldn’t be made to feel self conscious for feeding their child.

I really want to continue my breastfeeding journey, but I don’t know how I’ll feel when Jack gets his first tooth! If then I decide to stop, it’s fine, it doesn’t mean I have failed and no mother should be made to think she has, should she wish to decide not to breastfeed.

The most important thing is that you’re doing your ‘breast’ or best and you rock mama!

Breastfeeding at the award-winning Bournemouth Beach, Dorset
Breastfeeding with a view at Bournemouth Beach

Motherhood, Reviews

Mothercare Journey Edit Pram – Review

A decent pram for those on a budget. Great mattress, stylish and a decent size basket.

For those on a budget the Mothercare Journey Edit is a decent pram. Please note my review is only based on use with the carrycot as Jack is under 6 months old.

The carrycots mattress is of very good quality and is nicely padded. Jack enjoyed his walks in the carrycot and slept well on walks – which is always a good sign of a decent mattress! The carrycot has ventilation panels so you don’t have to worry about them overheating. One of the negatives is that the shield doesn’t come out very far, so if your child likes the dark this carrycot isn’t suitable.

The basket is of a decent size – ideal for shopping trips and the detachable storage basket is a nice extra feature. The pram is narrower than some other travel systems, which again makes it a good choice for shopping, so you can easily fit down the aisles.

The suspension is quite good but it didn’t fare too well on my trip to the park on stones. For this I would opt for a sturdier travel system as it wobbled around quite a bit and I didn’t feel as safe.

The fold on the pram is a little tricky and not as easy as other travel systems and it is also quite heavy. It doesn’t fold completely so if you have a very small car, I would measure before purchase.

The fact that it is compatible with leading car seats which can be attached using the included adaptors is also a plus.

If you are on a budget this a definitely worth buying. However, you can feel the difference between this and a more expensive pram. You pay for what you get and other travel systems which are more expensive have a more premium look and finish and fare better on different terrains.

My rating 3/5 stars.

Motherhood, Reviews

Boba Wrap – Review

A comfortable and versatile baby wrap for mums and dads on the go!

The Boba Wrap is the perfect choice for mums and dads on the go, who don’t want to miss out on lots of lovely cuddles from their new baby. Made of 95% cotton (or pure organic cotton) and 5% spandex, it’s super-soft and gentle against baby’s sensitive skin.

After practicing with the wrap and watching the online tutorials, I found it easy to get on and off and I love the fact that it’s free of buckles and straps so you don’t have to worry about them digging in to you, or your baby, making the Boba Wrap super comfortable to wear.

The biggest plus of the wrap is that it provides hands-free use, so you can actually get jobs done around the house without feeling guilty, whilst enjoying skin-to-skin contact with your baby – you get the best of both worlds! My baby loved being snuggled inside the wrap and fell asleep very quickly, a sign of how comfortable and soft it is! Also being so close to me, Jack was calmed and soothed as he could hear my heartbeat, so I didn’t have to worry about him at all.  Whenever my little one is having a grumble, I pop him into the wrap and it calms him down almost instantly!

We enjoyed a lovely family day out to Farmer Palmers in Poole with the Boba Wrap. My husband Steve carried Jack in the wrap, which was ideal because the farm was quite muddy when we visited, so we didn’t have to worry about our pram getting grubby. Jack was peering out of the wrap looking at the cows, goats and pigs and also enjoyed a very nice sleep. So I would highly recommend the wrap for your family travels too!

You can use the Boba Wrap from birth, which is great. I am quite petite and the stretchy wrap fitted me perfectly and my husband is very tall and broad and it fitted him great too – so the fact that a stretchy wrap is suitable for all shapes and sizes is a real plus! What’s more the colour is very much gender neutral so suitable for baby boys and girls and also mums and dads!

I would definitely recommend the Boba Wrap to friends and family. It’s comfortable, versatile and what’s more – your baby will love it too!

My rating 5/5 stars.

Find out more about this fantastic baby carrier on the Boba website.